Two weeks have passed since I returned from Guatemala, yet once again, my heart is still in the clinic. Every morning, I wake up wishing I were back at La Ciudad de la Esperanza, greeting familiar patients, making new connections, bringing laughter to children, and serving alongside a team that continually reminds me what compassionate healthcare looks like. There are very few places where I have ever felt the depth of fulfillment, purpose, and joy that I experience within those clinic walls. Now that I’m home, I find myself carrying the same sense of guilt I felt last year, wishing I could do more, stay longer, and continue learning so that one day I can return with more knowledge and skills to better serve a community that has given me so much.
When I reflected on my first trip to Guatemala in last year’s blog post, I ended by holding onto the hope that one day I would find my way back to the clinic and continue sharing my privilege, my love, and my education with the people of Guatemala. I never could have imagined that just one year later, I would have the privilege to be walking through those same doors again. Returning to La Ciudad felt like coming home to a place I had never truly left, a place whose lessons, people, and love continued to guide me throughout the year I spent away.
Last year, my final memory before leaving the clinic was meeting a little boy named Henry. He proudly covered our faces with stickers so we could match, wore his favorite Lightning McQueen hat, and carried a smile so contagious that everyone around him couldn’t help but smile too. Wearing those stickers, I didn’t just carry a child’s joy; I carried the weight and warmth of a community’s love. The stickers Henry placed on my face last summer eventually peeled away, but what they represented never did. Long after I returned home, I continued carrying the joy they symbolized, the warmth of a community's love, and the hope that filled every corner of La Ciudad de la Esperanza.
Then, on the very first day of clinic this summer, I saw Henry again.
There he was, still wearing his favorite Lightning McQueen hat, still smiling the same unforgettable smile, and still laughing with the same contagious joy that had stayed with me long after last year's trip had ended. I had the privilege of spending nearly the entire first day of clinic with him, and it felt as though no time had passed at all. Seeing him again was a full-circle moment that reflected the very foundation of why I hope to pursue medicine. It reaffirmed my belief that empathy, presence, and the willingness to pause for small moments of genuine connection are at the heart of caring for another person.
Children like Henry are one of the many reasons I know I am pursuing the right path. His eyes tell a story of both hardship and resilience, but they also shine with the strength, hope, and love that surround him. His story reflects the countless stories of La Ciudad de la Esperanza, a place where people are cared for not only through medicine, but through compassion, connection, and community. Through Henry, I see everything this clinic stands for: hope, love, faith, and resilience.
Beyond the personal connections and memories I carried home, this trip was also a meaningful step forward in my journey toward becoming a healthcare provider. One of the greatest honors of this experience was being able to step into a nursing role within triage alongside such an incredible team. Although I have not yet begun my nursing clinicals or earned my RN license like many of the incredible nurses I worked alongside, this experience allowed me to continue learning, growing, and discovering the kind of provider I hope to become. One of the most meaningful parts of this experience was realizing how much my Spanish had grown and how that growth allowed me to connect with my patients in a more genuine way. I was able to listen to their stories, understand their concerns, and create moments of connection that extended far beyond the medical reasons that brought them to the clinic. There is something incredibly powerful about sitting beside a patient, speaking with them in their own language, and allowing them to feel truly seen, heard, and cared for. I was also amazed by the way our alumni team came together, each person bringing their own experiences, knowledge, and compassion to provide thoughtful, specialized, and meaningful care for every patient we served. From helping provide prosthetics for baby Sofia, to running labs, to witnessing the continued advancements in the medical resources and technology available at the clinic, it was inspiring to see how much hope and healing can come from a group of people united by the same purpose. This experience has only deepened my excitement to begin my nursing clinicals and use both the knowledge I have gained here and my own experiences to care for others with compassion, understanding, and love.
Thank you, once again, for allowing me to be part of a community, a journey, and a purpose that continues to remind me who I am and who I hope to become. When I left Guatemala last year, I carried home a few stickers and a heart forever changed by the people I met. This year, I returned carrying a year of growth, a deeper understanding of myself, and a heart ready to continue learning. As I leave again, I carry the stories of my patients, the laughter of children like Henry, the love of my team, and the unwavering hope that fills every corner of La Ciudad de la Esperanza.
Guatemala, I will carry your lessons, your love, and your spirit with me always. I promise to honor you, to keep fighting for change, and to return with more knowledge, hope, and care.
Hasta que nos volvamos a encontrar, gracias por cambiar mi corazón.
Con amor,
Ava DeBell
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